k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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