I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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