the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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