super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
