mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
