At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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