but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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