you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
