there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
now i know why i became what i already was.
My pussy is not your playground.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
