i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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