My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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