If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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