I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
