We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
