Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
