Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
