it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
