just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
