Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
