Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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