I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
