Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
