youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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