i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
