im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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