We won't sleep together?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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