I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
