i can't believe i had my finger in that
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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