grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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