It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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