I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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