We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
