I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
