I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
