Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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