One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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