i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
