FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just high enough for therapy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
