Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My life is pants optional.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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