no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I need moral support for this bender
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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