Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
