just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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