If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
