god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
vagina is talking i cant
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
