she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
