Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
