after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
