Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
