u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
and you fell through a lawn chair
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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