I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
