Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
