I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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