He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
