How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
