Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
