ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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